All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
