i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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