I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
