i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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