yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
