I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
