ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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