You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
