Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
