I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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