I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
