His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
