Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
two words: eviction party
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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