My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
