The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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