Ambien. No doubt about it.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
