hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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