return my video game
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
