she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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