I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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