if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
