you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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