y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
