Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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