I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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