We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
