this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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