That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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