I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Never joke about your clitoris.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
