fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
