Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
These tits shall not be calmed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
