oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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