i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
