If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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