and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
