she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
