what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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