You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
