Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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