So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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