At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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