So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
