remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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