In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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