PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
