Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
