We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you still have your period?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
