I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
