so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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