Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
