i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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