I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I want her autograph on my taint
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
