butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
