So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
