im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
