Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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