guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize