We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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