i permit you to call me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
