He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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